Lately I’ve felt different for lack of better wording. It’s been a usual thing for me as I’m sure it is for many more people to often be laying in bed or just staring into space somewhere and having millions of thoughts rush through your mind. Lately that has been happening multiplied by a hundred and I actually find myself stopping to contemplate my thoughts and how I feel about those thoughts. So much of what goes through my mind now is such a beautiful exploration of my surroundings, my life, the people that have influenced it, the person I’m becoming, what I think about that person, and how different that person is from anyone I’ve ever been. Now that just makes me sound like I have some sort of chronic multiple personality disorder and in reading that (if anyone other than myself ever does) people might want to refer me to the best psychiatrist a confused female in her late teens could possibly see. However, that would just be a result of bad interpretation because of my often lack of better wording. Now that I’m not old, but older than I’ve ever been (clearly) I find myself at an interesting stage in my life, a stage I couldn’t have possibly come across if I hadn’t gone through all the other dreadful, shame inducing stages. So I guess that’s what I meant, different life stages, rather than completely different people I’ve been, except it feels that way, it feels as if I’ve evolved into a series of completely unique people all in the relatively short span of 19 years. In earlier years, the cliche “you think the world revolves around you” would’ve described me perfectly, but recently I’ve come to the shocking realization that such a phrase could be turned around and the simple thought of it makes life all the more interesting. Think of the endless possibilities there are when you consider revolving around the world instead of the world revolving around you. Now considering “you revolve around the world” makes me feel so tiny, like a speck of nearly nothingness, but being so small in a world so enormous fills my mind with wonder, infinite questions, and a growing love for the life I live and the world I live in. We so easily see all the horrors that happen on a daily basis and that will continue happening because as humans we’ll always be wildly destructive, but we rarely if ever stop to think about all the breathtaking beauty we walk past every day without acknowledging.